Three weeks ago, I was strolling around São Paulo, when a friend - Edinho - handed me a pamphlet entitled Sacred Moment. Printed in four colours, on excellent paper, with no mention of any particular church or religion, this pamphlet bore only a prayer on its reverse side.
Imagine my surprise when I saw the name of the author of this prayer - ME! It had been published in the early 1980s on the inside cover of a book of poetry. I did not think it would stand the test of time, or that it would return to my hands in such a mysterious way; but when I re-read it, I did not feel ashamed of what I had written.
Because it appeared in that pamphlet, and because I believe in signs, I felt it only right to reproduce it here. I hope it encourages every reader to write a prayer of their own, asking for themselves and for others the things they judge to be most important. That way, we place a positive vibration in our heart that touches everything around us.
Here is the prayer:
Lord, protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes us grow because it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, protect our decisions, because making Decisions is a way of praying. Give us the courage, after our doubts, to be able to choose between one road and another. May our YES always be a YES, and our NO always be a NO. Once we have chosen our road, may we never look back nor allow our soul to be eaten away by remorse. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, protect our actions, because Action is a way of praying. May our daily bread be the result of the very best that we carry within us. May we, through work and Action, share a little of the love we receive. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, protect our dreams, because to Dream is a way of praying, Make sure that, regardless of our age or circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of hope and perseverance. And in order for this to be possible... Lord, give us enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is a way of praying. It is what binds us to the Heavens and to Earth, to grown-ups, and to children; it is what tells us that our desires are important and deserve our best efforts. It is enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing. And in order for this to be possible...
Lord, protect us, because Life is the only way we have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may we continue to transmute wheat into bread. And this is only possible if we have Love; therefore, do not leave us in solitude. Always give us Your company, and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your glory.
Choose the mountain you want to climb Don't be influenced by what other people say: 'that one's prettier' or 'that one looks easier'. You are going to put a lot of energy and enthusiasm into achieving your objective, and you are the only person responsible for your choice, so be quite sure about what you are doing.
Find out how to reach the mountain Often you can see the mountain in the distance -- beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. However, when you try to reach it, what happens? It's surrounded by roads; forests lie between you and your objective; and what seems clear on the map is far more complicated in reality. So you must try all the paths and tracks until, one day, you find yourself before the peak you intend to climb.
Learn from someone who has been there before However unique you may think you are, there is always someone who has had the same dream before, and who will have left signs behind that will make the climb less arduous: the best place to attach a rope, trodden paths, branches broken off to make it easier to pass. It is your climb and it is your responsibility, too, but never forget that other people's experiences are always helpful.
Dangers, seen from close to, are controllable When you start to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to what is around you. There are, of course, precipices. There are almost imperceptible cracks. There are stones polished so smooth by rain and wind that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are putting your foot, you will see any traps and be able to avoid them.
The landscape changes, so make the most of it You must, naturally, always keep in mind your objective -- reaching the top. However, as you climb, the view changes, and there is nothing wrong with stopping now and then to enjoy the vista. With each meter you climb, you can see a little further, so take time to discover things you have never noticed before.
Respect your body You will only manage to climb a mountain if you give your body the care it deserves. You have all the time that life gives you, so do not demand too much from your body. If you walk too quickly, you will grow tired and give up halfway. If you walk too slowly, night might fall and you will get lost. Enjoy the landscape, drink the cool spring water, and eat the fruit that Nature generously offers you, but keep walking.
Respect your soul Don't keep repeating, 'I'm going to do it.' Your soul knows this already. What it needs to do is to use this long walk in order to grow, to reach out as far as the horizon, to touch the sky. Obsession will not help you in the search for you goal, and will end up spoiling the pleasure of the climb. On the other hand, don't keep repeating 'It's harder than I thought,' because that will sap your inner strength.
Be prepared to go the extra mile The distance to the top of the mountain is always greater than you think. There is bound to come a moment when what seemed close is still very far away. But since you are prepared to go still further, this should not be a problem.
Be joyful when you reach the top Cry, clap your hands, shout out loud that you made it; let the wind (because it is always windy up there) purify your mind, cool your hot, weary feet, open your eyes, blow the dust out of your heart. What was once only a dream, a distant vision, is now part of your life. You made it, and that is good.
Make a promise Now that you have discovered a strength you did not even know you had, tell yourself that you will use it for the rest of your days; promise yourself, too, to discover another mountain and set off on a new adventure.
Tell your story Yes, tell your story. Be an example to others. Tell everyone that it's possible, and then others will find the courage to climb their own mountains.
...You get your fill to eat, But always keep that hunger May you never take one single breath for granted God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance Never settle for the path of least resistance Living might mean taking chances...but they're worth taking Lovin' might be a mistake... but it's worth making. Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter When you come close to selling out...reconsider Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance... I hope you dance
I hope you still feel small when you stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance -- Lee Ann Womack +++
If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children, I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life. -- Rachel Carson
It is still the first week in January, and I've got great plans. I've been thinking about seeing. There are lots of things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside from a generous hand. But -- and this is the point -- who gets excited by a mere penny? If you follow one arrow, if you crouch motionless on a bank to watch a tremulous ripple thrill on the water and are rewarded by the sight of a muskrat kit paddling from its den, will you count that sight a chip of copper only, and go your rueful way? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won't stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty brought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get.
I met her while I was roaming the area near where the bird watch tower was. She offered me one of the sea cucumbers (swake in Cebuano) she was cleaning and some vinegar so I can cook it a little. I didn't have the heart to decline. She was cleaning bags and bags of sea cucumbers which her grandson collected. She told me she sells it for about P20 per kilo.
Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.
Been cleaning my archives and getting jarred by certain synchronicities in my life. This reminded me of that line by Mylene Dizon's character in Ploning..."dalawa lang naman ang pwedeng mangyari sa taong lumulundag sa bangin ng may tiwala sa Diyos e. Sinasalo Niya or tinuturuan Niyang lumipad".
A rather long read but worth it.
***
Let Your Soul Be Your Bookie by Gordon Sumner a.k.a. Sting
“You can make a fresh start with your final breath.” - Bertolt Brecht
One man’s risk is another’s sure bet. I may have the reputation for being a risk taker, but when I look back, I wasn’t always conscious of taking them. At least, not at that time. I might have appeared that way to outsiders. But to me, at the crossroads, there weren’t really two divergent paths for me to consider, two stark but equally compelling choices. There was a dead end and the edge of a cliff. So if it’s die or jump, is it risk or destiny. It doesn’t matter. Maybe risk is destiny.
I suppose the first big risk I ever took was to leave my “profession,” which was teaching. I was twenty-four, had a wife, a baby, a dog, a little car. My foot was on the first rung of the ladder, but I wasn’t going up; I had one boot in the grave. I knew that for sure the minute the head teacher warned me in horror that if I left, I’d lose my pension.
Pension? Didn’t know I had one. All I did know was that I didn’t want a life with a pension plan waiting at the end of it. I know that attitude was arrogant. I was born into a working-class family and for us, pensions were the reward for hard, honest toil. But it wasn’t going to be my reward. Arrogance is a highly underappreciated character trait. In fact, arrogance fuels risk.
My former wife was an actress pursuing a career in London and I knew if I was going to make it as a musician, I had to be in London, too. So we packed up all our belongings, which besides the baby and the dog was a rocking chair, and set off in our battered Citroën toward the living-room floor of a friend. I really had no prospects. What was I thinking? Well, I wasn’t. There seems to be very little cognitive process associated with risks. But I was also strangely joyous – like you’re about to dive into some very cold water and the minute before you hit the water you think, “There’s no turning back now. I’ve done this.” And there’s a great freedom in knowing that there aren’t any safety nets.
Very often, fear comes only when you’re well into it. Those early days were both debilitating and frightening for me because the only way I could support my family was to go on dole. Turn up on Wednesday afternoon, sign your name, and say you’re available for work. I never felt that I should be there, doing that, but I was grateful for it each week because during the day I could practice my music. That’s when I met Stuart Copeland, who would later be the drummer of the Police, and he had this idea of forming a band. He said that he liked my playing and singing and wondered if I wanted to take a risk tagging along to see how it might go. Was there a choice? It didn’t seem like it at the time, it just seemed like the answer to my prayers. Whenever you change the direction in your life, it’s going to scare the people around you. That’s a given. But if it doesn’t scare the daylights out of you, it’s not real risk. So again the paradox: If you had no choice, how can you call it a risk?
I’ve never believed there’s anything to be gained from an educated risk, where you weigh all the consequences and then take your chances and hope you choose the best possible outcome. Usually we take on well-thought-out wagers for practical reasons, like for money. But more often than not they backfire. Even the most brilliant strategy, the most reasonable plan can morph overnight into a leech, sucking the integrity out of you, until you’re barely able to say “Never again.” That is, until the next reasonably profitable, well-thought-out devil’s IOU presents itself.
Sometimes people mix up thrill seeking and risk taking, but I think they’re totally different experiences, with different motivations and outcomes. Thrill seeking is flirting with danger, taunting the fates. Thrill seeking seems to be a particularly male endeavor; it’s probably encoded in our DNA. It’s speeding motorcycles, parachute jumping, mountain climbing, drug taking, and adultery when you’ve got a great wife and a beautiful family. My perverse enjoyment of rough plane rides brings out the thrill seeker in me. I was once in a near-crash in a small plane flying over Venezuela. When I walked away from it, surviving was one of the best feelings I’d have for a long time. Surviving. What a rush. Women understand this wild streak in their sons, but barely tolerate it in their men. Perhaps external thrills are the most seductive when our daily lives disappoint us. I sometimes think that we men seek thrills because we don’t always have the courage to take real risks, whether they’re emotional risks necessary in successful personal relationships, or practical ones, as in changing jobs.
True risks, that sudden leap into the cold water, can carry you into a state of grace. Coincidences, synchronicity, chance, karmic charm, it doesn’t matter what you call it, there’s a positive force that intervenes that covers your back. Things click. It makes sense because true risk is the only thing that forces spiritual and emotional growth so immediately, so dramatically.
In my life there’s always been a connection between risk and luck. A lot of people approach risk as if it’s the enemy, when it’s really fortune’s accomplice. A risk may seem ridiculous to other people, but risk isn’t random or rash when it’s a necessity. The night I decided to walk away from the Police, I’d felt I’d reach the summit. We were being hailed as the hottest band of the decade. In barely five years we’d gone from playing for a handful of people in bars to 67,000 fans in Shea Stadium. We’d sold forty million records. I had more money than I knew what to do with. But I was miserable. I was out of control and so was my life. Everything was falling apart – my first marriage was breaking up, my relationships with the other guys in the band were horrendous, yet I had the world envying me. As I walked off the stage, I knew I had to make the change. Everybody thought I was certifiable. But I was joyous, relieved. Risk has given me back my soul.
As one grows older, one has more to lose and the risks loom larger. I’m halfway through my life. How do I become the old man that I could admire now, a wiser elder? How do I grow old gracefully, especially in my profession, which glorifies youth so aggressively? How do I become useful to the people around me and my society as an older person? I think it’s crucial to take a fresh start, take a blank canvas, do things that defy logic, whether it’s introducing an audience who’s used to listening to music in a four-four time to a more complex meter, or making a movie that’s unconventional, or popularizing somewhat unfamiliar topics such as rainforest issues or meditation or whatever. What’s disconcerting or unexpected often pleases me, especially if it takes my audience and me in a new direction. In the end, I know I won’t find it personally rewarding just to toe the line, stick to the formula. I’ve got to progress more as a person than as a personality.
What’s my biggest risk now? How about being happy? I used to subscribe to the theory that in order to write anything worthwhile, you needed to be in some sort of turmoil. And I wasn’t alone in that belief. I would manufacture all sorts of problems in order to be able to create. But in the last few years, I’ve made a conscious decision to create from a profound depth of happiness, and no one is more amazed than I am that some of the best work of the deposed “King of Pain” was inspired by joy.
It has always impressed me that the Chinese pictogram for crisis is the identical one for opportunity. I’m convinced that taking risk redeems, restores, and reinvents.So the next time you’re overwhelmed by curiosity, or the prospects of change makes your stomach heave and the ground beneath your feet rumble, my advice is, don’t look back. Risk is sitting on your shoulder, my friend. Nothing in your life is beyond redemption. Dive into the cold water. All bets are off.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind; the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance...even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, you will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.
Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying.
I used to hear this in an AM program on my way to work. It has a Desiderata and Sunscreen feel to it.
TAGUBILIN AT HABILIN Ni Jose F. Lacaba
Mabuhay ka, kaibigan! Mabuhay ka! Iyan ang una’t huli kong Tagubilin at habilin: Mabuhay ka!
Sa edad kong ito, marami akong maibibigay na payo. Mayaman ako sa payo.
Maghugas ka ng kamay bago kumain. Maghugas ka ng kamay pagkatapos kumain. Pero huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay para lang makaiwas sa sisi. Huwag kang maghuhugas ng kamay kung may inaapi Na kaya mong tulungan.
Paupuin sa bus ang matatanda at ang mga may kalong na sanggol. Magpasalamat sa nagmamagandang-loob. Matuto sa karanasan ng matatanda Pero huwag magpatali sa kaisipang makaluma.
Huwag piliting matulog kung ayaw kang dalawin ng antok. Huwag pag-aksayahan ng panahon ang walang utang na loob. Huwag makipagtalo sa bobo at baka ka mapagkamalang bobo. Huwag bubulong-bulong sa mga panahong kailangang sumigaw.
Huwag kang manalig sa bulung-bulungan. Huwag kang papatay-patay sa ilalim ng pabitin. Huwag kang tutulog-tulog sa pansitan.
Umawit ka kung nag-iisa sa banyo. Umawit ka sa piling ng barkada. Umawit ka kung nalulungkot. Umawit ka kung masaya.
Ingat lang.
Huwag kang aawit ng “My Way” sa videoke bar at baka ka mabaril. Huwag kang magsindi ng sigarilyo sa gasolinahan. Dahan-dahan sa matatarik na landas. Dahan-dahan sa malulubak na daan.
Higit sa lahat, inuulit ko:
Mabuhay ka, kaibigan! Mabuhay ka! Iyan ang una’t huli kong Tagubilin at habilin: Mabuhay ka!
Maraming bagay sa mundo na nakakadismaya. Mabuhay ka. Maraming problema ang mundo na wala na yatang lunas. Mabuhay ka.
Sa hirap ng panahon, sa harap ng kabiguan, Kung minsan ay gusto mo nang mamatay. Gusto mong maglaslas ng pulso kung sawi sa pag-ibig. Gusto mong uminom ng lason kung wala nang makain. Gusto mong magbigti kung napakabigat ng mga pasanin. Gusto mong pasabugin ang bungo mo kung maraming gumugulo sa utak.
Huwag kang patatalo. Huwag kang susuko.
Narinig mo ang sinasabi ng awitin: “Gising at magbangon sa pagkagupiling, Sa pagkakatulog na lubhang mahimbing.” Gumising ka kung hinaharana ka ng pag-ibig. Bumangon ka kung nananawagan ang kapuspalad.
Ang sabi ng iba: “Ang matapang ay walang-takot lumaban.” Ang sabi ko naman: Ang tunay na matapang ay lumalaban Kahit natatakot.
Lumaban ka kung inginungodngod ang nguso mo sa putik. Bumalikwas ka kung tinatapak-tapakan ka. Buong-tapang mong ipaglaban ang iyong mga prinsipyo Kahit hindi ka sigurado na agad-agad kang mananalo.
Mabuhay ka, kaibigan! Mabuhay ka! Iyan ang una’t huli kong Tagubilin at habilin: Mabuhay ka!
Life is made up of moments and choices. We can choose to do the small things we must do with great care, or we can choose to stay focused on the "big things" and miss everything in the process. It's the small, step-by-step, creatively and beautifully engaged act that changes us and ultimately changes the world.
I used to sit on the banks with a raft and watch the water roll lazily by. One day I pushed my raft into the shallows of the water and found the water moved swifter than I thought. My raft was actually a boat. Then, after some time, I rowed my little boat into deeper water. There were great storms, mighty winds, tremendous waves, and sometimes I felt so alone. But I have noticed my little rowboat is now a mighty ship manned by my friends and loved ones; and beautiful calm seas, warm sunny days, and nights filled with comfortable dreams always double after a storm. Now, I could never go back and sit on the bank. In fact, I search for deeper water. Such is life when lived.
The plan this morning was to date my mom and sister so we can all finally watch The Dark Knight (yes, I'm so far behind everybody else now when it comes to movies). Later in the afternoon, I decided to just watch The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor because I want to see how Maria Bello did Eve's character. My mom had other plans though. She decided to be menopausal and just stay at home. And all I can say is...it was crazy fun to watch Roderick Paulate sing and dance on stage with Rick Astley!
One of my photos is currently zipping around the globe via PAL's Mabuhay Magazine June issue.
Thanks to Ira of Eastgate Publication for facilitating the inclusion of my photo; and to Mai, for helping me out with the conversion to cmyk file (which I really knew zilch about).
I was all set for a quiet and sunny weekend at the beach with my sister and a few friends, but Mother Nature had other plans. Until late last night I was dreaming of finally having the chance to fly my orange shark kite along a stretch of white-sand beach. That thought vanished with a text from the owner of the villa we were supposed to stay in...heavy rains on the island, it's best to reschedule.
This morning, I woke up feeling like a fuzzball stuck inside a vacuum's dirtbag.
But rather than acting like the queen of glum and sulk the whole day, I decided to take advantage of this weekend to catch up on things I haven't had much time for, like:
sorting and organizing my photos
uploading photos to Multiply
reading
cleaning my room (that newly-bought vacuum cleaner can't be used as a decor forever)
Reviewing my checklist and itinerary for my upcoming trip to HCMC. This early, I can tell that I'm going to love and enjoy Vietnam if only for the fact that for a few days, I can call myself a millionaire! Weeee!!! Hehehe! Ang babaw.
